Is seeing believing? Learning to believe in myself

Is seeing believing? Learning to believe in myself

Learning to believe in myself. B from my alphabet of personal growth.
B – learning to believe in myself

Is seeing believing? Learning to believe in myself was not something that happens overnight or even over months, in fact this can take years, or sometimes you just have to be in the right place at the right time, reading just the right words. Having hope in believing in others, yourself and God is another key in creating a life worth living.

Is seeing believing – Learning to believe in myself.

Is seeing believing? Learning to believe in myself became clear to me when reading this poem a long time ago as it spoke to me with longing and sadness as I unpacked the poem. I noticed that everything it said, brought my attention to the fact that I did not believe in myself at all.

I BELIEVE

Somebody once asked me,

“In what do you believe?”

and I answered them simply,

…”I believe in everything”.

I believe in you,

I believe in me,

I believe in hope and faith,

and in reality.

I believe in innocence,

because it makes me smile.

I believe in passion,

and a love that burns so deep.

I believe in sunny days,

When the sky is so clear.

I believe in laughter,

and I believe in tears.

I believe in joy,

and yet in pain,

They are the things that shape us,

Make us who we will remain.

I believe,

in doing everything I can,

To help someone in need.

I believe in smiles,

and in finding your own way,

I believe in looking someone in the eyes,

and saying what you have to say,

I believe in holding your head up high,

and facing the world with dignity.

and I believe,

In the little steps of my life,

And where they take me,

I believe,

In living in the moment,

and in destiny…”

If anyone knows the author who wrote this poem, I would be so grateful to acknowledge him/her.

Believing in myself enabled a different perspective and so it was exciting when reading it again recently that glimmers of sunny days and laughter presented themselves more often, that finding my own way was happening and that facing the world with dignity was a reality.   Some people have incredible belief, others not so much, yet the power this word had in changing my life was extraordinary.

Many thoughts about believing in myself were negative and that part in me that says I can do it, and believe that, was not available to me until reading an author by the name of J. Peterson. He captured the belief, put it in front of me and I started to examine it, consequently my struggles with belief started to materialise. Having read many books to find solutions, it can take an author a particular constructed sentence that is meaningful as well as understanding that others have also experienced what you are feeling bringing human connectivity according to Brene Brown.

My 3 tips:

  • If you struggle in this area, I think the first key is talking to someone.
  • Respect yourself and live in truth. It is not virtuous to be victimized by a bully even if that bully is yourself.’ (J. Peterson).
  • Read until you find the author that gives you that aha moment.

LEARNING TO BELIEVE IN OTHERS – TRUSTING MYSELF TO BELIEVE

The Shopping Mall Story – maintaining hope.

Standing in a queue at my local store in the mall last week, the waiting became noticeably long so as I glancing around the Manager looked my way and gave me the thumbs up, shaking my head, my thumbs down caused her to come hurriedly over and started helping the other tellers.

Is seeing believing? – trusting in myself

Now first allow me to clarify something, this is not me, more to the point, muttering under my breath and fuming internally is my usual modus operandi . The man in front of me was very thankful and he said that he had a gift card that he did not want to use at this particular store so he would like to give it to me with a R100 off my purchase. Using the gift voucher for him and then giving him the cash was the solution resulting in him repaying me for getting the queue moving more quickly.  

Seeing was definitely not believing – My naive moments

You guessed it, seeing was not believing and my thoughts were nothing about believing in this chap at all and wracking my brains to try and figure out why he should want to do this filled my thoughts. No answers came to mind in such a short time and having no sinister reason for his request being denied, went ahead with his idea, however, still believing that this was a scam.

Going ahead with it anyway was the default decision and feeling very naïve, the purchase was made, the cash delivered to him and new me went off with her purchase.  Was he doing the acceptable thing and was he benefiting so as to go and purchase something from another area of the mall. This scenario finally made the old me look at  the new me as to how believing in others and digging deep was working and to see whether they were just being pleasant sometimes.

Finding the belief in Others – seeing is believing.

Surmising that other people care and want to be nice to total strangers are rare, but they do happen, consequently this warms my heart each time another person goes out of their way to be kind, caring and loving. This encourages me to do the same which in turn assists in creating a life worth living? Stumbling upon the blog Goodthingsguy was a win, their goal being to bring awareness to the public that good news does exist among all the negativity .

https://www.goodthingsguy.com/

LEARNING TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF

Learning how to believe in myself - Warthogs challenging lions.
Warthogs challenging some lions. How funny

The Warthog Story – starting to believe in myself

During a vacation at the Addo Game Reserve http://www.addoelephantpark.info/ we spotted these warthogs wandering closer to these lions, than what we thought was a comfortable distance and then backing away to and fro.  We were perplexed with their daring and brave behaviour (or stupid as my husband says) hence capturing the essence of what was being said, because they truly believed that they could outrun these lions if  they, the lions decided they wanted warthog lunch.

Read, Read, Read. – finally trusting myself

Believing in myself was really hard to come by. I just could not attain that perspective of myself plus I needed to find some tools so new me started looking.

Lesson one in my blog –  was the new me allowing the thought process to be accepted. With social media as it is today, Facebook, Instagram, advertisements and other wonderful human beings’ achievements, the ‘not enough syndrome’ quickly arises.http://lovinglylivelife.com/2019/03/27/am-i-allowing-myself-a-life-worth-living-a-personal-growth-journey/

Lesson two – was “allowing” the believing to take place. Jordan B. Peterson who has a no nonsense outlook on life reflects an attitude of – life is hard – but we are born to conquer and so get out there and conquer. https://www.jordanbpeterson.com/12-rules-for-life/

How I learnt to believe in myself – seeing is believing

Learning to believe in myself was the next step to take and I found help in Jordan Peterson’s book, however using a lot of direct quotations  from his book in this section was done as his phrases are so perfectly articulated. Starting with this simple yet profound sentence and although it probably could be read anywhere, this was my first opening to believing in myself:

Circumstances change – imagining a better way

Circumstances change, so can you”.

J. Peterson

He goes on to say that if we stand with our shoulders back and accept the responsibility of life with our eyes open, we voluntarily decide to transform the chaos of potential into the reality of habitable order.

This author instilled an emotion in me, that catapulted me into thinking that if changes in my circumstances by taking responsibility of the role I play in my life and in the world around me could occur, then there is a purpose in my life that I am in control of.

Self compassion – finding acceptance in myself

“It seems that people often don’t really believe that they deserve the best care, personally speaking. They believe that other people shouldn’t suffer, and they will work diligently and altruistically to help them alleviate it, but not so easily to themselves.” He also says “assume you are competent”.

J. Peterson

 Kristen Neff in her book Self Compassion https://self-compassion.org/ says that self-compassion has three elements. Self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness allowing belief in oneself, rather than when you do not think you are good enough, instilling negative thinking. Peterson invites one to ‘dare to be dangerous’, encouraging the serotonin to flow through the neural pathways which in turn instills a calming influence. If I assume I am competent, this will in turn stimulate positive responses from others causing less anxiety, according to Peterson.

Listening to the internal voice – sometimes they lie


“ If the internal voice makes you doubt the value of your endeavours – or your life itself – perhaps you should stop listening. When the critical voice within says the same denigrating things about everyone, no matter how successful, how reliable can it be? Talking yourself into irrelevance is not a profound critique of Being. It’s a cheap trick of the rational mind.”

J. Peterson

Listening to the negative voice chant unworthiness is unhelpful and unproductive to a life worth living as a result one of the future blog posts will be solely on negative thought, suffice it to say, the more I think negative thoughts, the more negative I become while in contrast practicing positive thought patterns is a habit that needs to be encouraged at all cost.

Respecting myself – accept that seeing is believing.


“We deserve some respect. You deserve some respect. You are important to other people, as much as to yourself. You have some vital role to play in the unfolding destiny of the world.

J. Peterson

So lastly, having a vital role to play was a really important consideration and choices had to be made, above all, new me was important, not only to other people, but to myself, subsequently the journey into creating a life worth living had begun. These phrases help me find that allusive trust in who I was, how to hang on to it and understand how to go forward.

LEARNING TO BELIEVING IN GOD – TRUSTING MYSELF TO BELIEVE

Learning how to believe in God
B is for Believing in God

Is seeing believing for you – what do you believe in

Believing or not believing in God is your own personal journey trying to change your beliefs is not my goal, however putting forward my journey to encourage a life worth living is. Using the picture that embellishes my wall at home reminds me that believing is the most important thing in my life and even more noteworthy, it reminds me that I belong.

God is Good – Trevor Hudson – Seeing is believing.

Trevor Hudson my minister from Northfield Methodist Church in Benoni, South Africa once told me     – ‘believe God is good’.   Reading  great authors, like Phillip Yancy, Brennan Manning, Trevor Hudson, Henri Nouwens and Dallas Willard are great resources.   When keeping company with people whose lives are not perfect, but are thinking of others allows me growth by ‘directing the world a bit more towards heaven and a bit more away from hell’….(J Peterson), it encourages me to do the same, and certainly sounds exactly what I think God would want me to do.

A spiritual journey has its ups and downs, ebbs and flows,  it deepens and grows consequently changing me and although the change is  slow God is working in my life.  That  is encouraging, more so, when I read Julia Cameron’s book ‘The Artists way’ my belief system was rejuvenated.   Becoming more proactive in my beliefs by learning more and growing stronger has become my motto.

Final thoughts

Although the poem is long, it’s simplicity speaks volumes, creating a foundation to start living a life worth living in a simple cohesive manner permitting something to hang on to, follow and aspire to. Learning to believe in myself was one of the most important steps I had achieved.

Send me your comments down below and let me know how you feel.  Next week I will be touching on C.  How does ‘creating’ help us achieve a life worth living?

References:-

Peterson. J.B.,2018. 12 Rules for Life, an Antidote to Chaos. Penguin Random House UK.

Cameron, J. 1994 The Artist’s Way, A course in discovering and recovering your creative self. Pan books.

Neff, K. 2011. Self Compassion; Stop Beating Yourself up and Leave Insecurity Behind. Hodder and Stoughton.

Brown, B. 2007. I thought it was just me, Women reclaiming power and courage in a culture of Shame. Gotham Books.

Trevor Hudson. Minister and Author of many books.

van der Merwe, H. Clinical Psychologist


2 thoughts on “Is seeing believing? Learning to believe in myself

  1. Well written Dim, the topic of belief is so vast, yet it has to be so personal and close. One has to revisit one’s belief values often, as it is what steers one on the right path. so enjoyed your transparency..

    1. Yes I agree Pat. Once I started writing, I realised that it was so immense that I would have to come back to it time and again. Thank you for your insightful comments. So appreciate your input.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

shares