A ‘HOLE’ LOT OF LIVING Creating a life worth living

A ‘HOLE’ LOT OF LIVING Creating a life worth living

Creating a life worth living originated after an emergency operation on my thyroid which made me realise I needed to stop falling into lifes ‘holes’ and begin living a life worth living.

Beginning to find a life worth living. 

Why create a life, does life not just happen to us? These questions became a regular thought two years ago when I found myself having an emergency thyroid operation.  It seemed to come out of nowhere. Exhaustion was my daily hobby, and napping was my daily joy that I was lucky enough to have, consequently afternoons were definitely not for going shopping.  The operation was a success, however, it took me 18 months to recover.  In this time I did a lot of soul searching, thinking… and therapy, as one does when one cannot do life as usual. I did not want to become bitter about the lost years. I wanted to make the most of my second chance.

Lessons were learnt, most significantly that afternoons could be spent shopping and one may still have energy afterwards and that napping is not essential.  What a delight.    The awareness that I was handled life a little on the dysfunctional side was quickly realised. Being stressed, anxious, fearful and worried about everything  all contributed to my illness, in fact, I discovered that stress contributes to many illnesses, especially these auto immune diseases. http://lovinglylivelife.com/about-me/

There is a hole in my Sidewalk

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost… I am helpless

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I am in the same place.

But it is not my fault.

It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it there.

I still fall in. It’s a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault. I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

I walk down another street.

Portia Nelson, There’s a Hole in my Sidewalk: The Romance of self-discovery.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/549612.There_s_a_Hole_in_My_Sidewalk

A ‘hole’ lot of living’s beginnings

My journey with stress, anxiety, fear and worry started many years ago.  There was a particularly bad day I remember in high school when this feeling of despair washed over me, rearing its head from where, I do not know.   The despair said, in a rather menacing voice, I might add, that life was hard and lonely, that no one really cares and being invisible was a normal way of life.  Understanding at the time that talking about my anxieties and fears would help was new to me, and although I would read things like ‘if you worry you die, if you don’t worry, you still die, so why worry…’ ‘Author unknown.’ Having no tools to help me overcome my lack of coping skills, nor the menacing voice that told me I was not good enough, was not ideal. http://lovinglylivelife.com/about-me/

Fast forward 45 years and I look back at the journey of my life and realise how the lack of coping skills contributed to my ill health.  Obviously there are other factors that do contribute.  Viruses apparently like the Epstein Barr virus can play a part, as well as chronic infections, gut problems to mention a few that can affect auto immunity.  Simple things like lack of exercise, unhealthy eating habits etc, don’t add to wellness either however, these important aspects, when we put our minds to them, are easily rectified if discipline, desire and dedication is strong.   The mind, on the other hand tends to be a little trickier.   Having a lot of discipline, loads of desire and oodles of dedication, is not always enough, especially when the mind makes up its mind about something, it’s incredibly difficult to create a life worth living with minimum tools.

Finding the light towards a ‘hole’ lot of living

The eventual realisation that getting my thought life into a positive place  was the first critical step however convincing the negative thoughts and emotions to calm down was another thing altogether.  I have seen therapists, ministers, cognitive behavioural therapists over the years, and they have helped tremendously, but my journey to healing was slow. 

Falling into that hole was part of my life. Getting sick was a real wake-up call when I understood that in order to become healthy, I had to change the way I did life, and so began the journey towards healing.  Action was in order and I was going to find a way, no matter what.  When I am in the hole, my memory cannot seem to remember the tools. Recorded all the things that truly helped me get out of my hole helped and I decided to plan a means to access them.   The hope is that if you happen to have been in a similar situation as I have been, that this tool will benefit you as well.

As I was figuring out the best tools to use I decided to created my ABC  easy access method.     I am not a doctor, therapist or counsellor, consequently my aim is not to advise, or teach, but to rather travel alongside, experiencing and sharing each blog with you as I experience it, sharing what works for me and what does not work for me. Do share your triumphs and failures with me so that we can all remain out of the holes that trap us into not fully living.
My 3 key values in establishing a foundation to creating a life worth living was to hook the tools onto; creating a life by loving others, yourself and God.

Creating a life by Loving others with a ‘hole’ lot of living

I love speaking to strangers in the supermarkets, at Woollies, in the road.  Greeting everyone I pass in the street is a must, (not in the malls) although having some boundaries, but if I see someone with a super hair style, or an outfit I love, it is hard to stop myself telling that person, much to the dismay of my family as a result  I feel connected and part of a bigger world.

But why, why do we cringe when someone oversteps a particular boundary, like talking to strangers?   Is it possible to trust strangers? Do you talk to strangers or is that an absolute no no? How does connecting to the outside world help us connect with our inner world? 

Do we relate well with each other, our friends, our neighbours, our community?

These are topics I would like to explore in my upcoming posts.

Creating a Life by Loving ourselves

When you were little and you looked at yourself in the mirror, did anyone say to you?  ‘Only vain people look at themselves in the mirror’.  Do you remember that song, You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you, by Carly Simon. 

Or

When you were little did you think your name was ‘no, no’!

Our upbringing either shamed us or allowed us to be who we were meant to be.  Brene Brown says in her book ‘I thought it was just me’, “You cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviour”.

Can we overcome the past so that we can function effectively in the present?

Creating a Life by Loving God

Philippians 4:8  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.

Loving God can sometimes seem hard as it almost feels like I am told to love something I cannot see, truly comprehend or fathom?  Do I navigate through life without understanding whether a higher power is overseeing my path? This is a tough one that many of us struggle with in our daily lives.  People get sick, people die, bad things happen to good people.  Can I live beyond these things and still realise that  a loving God is key.

My first topic of discussion  next week is ‘Allowing ourselves to create a life worth living’.  

Looking forward to unpacking this with you in my next post.



Ref : Wentz, I. 2017. Hashimoto’s Protocol, A 90-Day plan for Reversing Thyroid Symptoms and Getting your Life Back. Harper Collins.

Brown. B, 2007. I Thought it was just me(but it isn’t). Gotham Books

Richo D.2008. When the past is present. Healing the Emotional Wounds that sabotage our Relationships. Random House, Inc.


12 thoughts on “A ‘HOLE’ LOT OF LIVING Creating a life worth living

  1. Bravo!! Insightful and honest 🙂

    As for speaking to strangers – yup, am also guilty of doing that, often to the collective chagrin of my family 😀

    1. Thank you for those encouraging words Carol, authenticity is the key. Who said speaking to strangers is just a friend you do not know?

    1. Thanks Erin, also for all your creative input and encouragement. My biggest fan. Thank you for all the tips on getting my blog looking so great.

  2. beautifully written-this definitely strikes a chord-look forward to your next post, I wish you every success, love Beverley

    1. Thank you so much Bev, when I realised I was not the only one, it spurred me on. I feel we as a community encourage each other. Looking forward to sharing my next post. Hope you will enjoy it as much. Love Les

  3. Gosh Dimity, No self pity,just identifying the problem, and come hell or high water a workable solution. Going to live this blog.

    1. Thank you so much Pat – yes come hell or high water definitely a workable solution. Thank you for your support. I am excited.

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